This weekend was the Canonical Conclave in Indianapolis. A great event. The programming was top notch, a great discussion about scions, and lots of purposeful, built-in socialization. I'm sure lots of great recaps will be up soon because this blog post will be about a much sillier part of the weekend: a conversation from Saturday night at a local bar.
As can always be counted upon, folks found a place to hang out after the official programming was over. 10 or 11 of had a freewheeling conversation that spent a significant amount of time on another topic I love: The Muppets.
It eventually led to which Muppets would best represent certain Sherlockians. Did we solve all of the worlds problems. Nah. But we sure did have fun! So here are the Muppets/Sherlockian pairings we came up with.
Miss Piggy :: Ashley Polasek
The Muppets are few and far between when it comes to their female characters. But Miss Piggy has been a standout since she first appeared on The Muppet Show in 1974. This blonde icon who commands a room and is well-versed in martial arts? Only one Sherlockian could to toe-to-hoof with Piggy and Ashley Polasek fits that bill. Piggy is tough, but my money would be on Ashley.
Kermit the Frog :: Curtis Armstrong
Kermit is mild-mannered while still being the most recognizable name in the troupe. Can his voice raise to new heights when he gets excited? Sure, but he always puts on a great performance. Both Curtis and Kermit are born performers and Kermit knows how his performances should go. Except for when it comes to Miss Piggy. That diva calls the shots. Plus, Curtis and Kermit both have the same beginning sound. Kertis the Frog? I'm still workshopping that part.
Gonzo the Great :: Max Magee
Gonzo is full of crazy ideas and wears outlandish shirts. Sound like someone else in our hobby? Gonzo has a good heart, but most people only recognize him as the guy with the funny-looking thing on his face. (Re: Max's mustache) He's also energetic and willing to try anything and can be called upon for an entertaining presentation. I'm beginning to wonder if Max and Gonzo weren't separated at birth.
Rizzo the Rat :: Rudy Altergott
Rizzo is often seen paired up with Gonzo, and Rudy and Max were nigh-inseparable this weekend (except for the time when Rudy forgot he was our ride and had to come back for us, but that's a different story). Rizzo's thick New Yawk accent might be the thickest of all Muppet accents, and if you've spent any time talking with Rudy, you know his own Chicago accent almost drips with deep dish pizza. While not full of schemes like Rizzo, Rudy is bursting at the seams with ideas.
Fozzie Bear :: Paul Thomas Miller
Fozzie is the funny man of the Muppets, and I always describe Paul as the Monty Python of Sherlockiana. Sure, some people don't appreciate Fozzie and Paul's humor, but both entertainers keep offering up more servings for those of us who enjoy their output. And while I've never seen Paul in a porkpie hat or wiggle his ears, I wouldn't be surprised if he busted one of those out some day. You'll just have to keep checking the Shingle of Southsea meeting notes.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew :: Mike McSwiggin
A bald, round, baby face capped off with glasses. I could be talking about either one! Both work in the scientific fields, Bunsen with questionable science experiments, and Mike makes you question the pharmaceutical profession. While I couldn't come up with a Sherlockian for Bunsen's assistant Beaker, Bunsen's draw to have a compatriot is seen in Mike. Whether it's Ralph Hall, Frank Cho, or Monica Schmidt, you rarely see Mike without someone hanging out with him and possibly getting roped into his next project.
Dr. Teeth :: Bob Katz
This one doesn't make any sense, but it made me laugh when someone threw it out. Just imagine Bob Katz in one of Dr. Teeth's outfits! Really, the gravelly voice and the beard are the only things these two have in common. But if we were ever able to make a Muppets version of a Sherlockian meeting, I can just hear Dr. Teeth saying, "All right you crazy cats and kittens, we all know that Arthur Conan Doyle had sixty stories and only six plots"
Floyd Pepper :: Steve Doyle
Floyd Pepper is the Beatles inspired, floppy haired bass player of the Electric Mayhem house band. Steve Doyle is the floppy haired Beatles fan who played bass guitar in the AgTones. Floyd is also in charge of Animal, the most volatile of all Muppets, and always knows how to calm the beast. Steve is half of Wessex Press and publisher of The Baker Street Journal. If being in charge of those publishing enterprises isn't like trying to control a wild animal, I don't know what is!
Janice :: Cindy Brown
Janice rounds out our casting of The Electric Mayhem band. Her laid-back style and blonde hair really gave us the Cindy Brown vibe. Cindy is probably one of the most easy-going people out there, not letting too much ruffle her and always happy to be engaged in every conversation you find her in. While I don't know if Cindy is a guitar player like Janice, she routinely wrangles speakers for The Crew of the Barque Lone Star Zoom meetings, which is a talent all in itself.
Sweetums :: Christian Mongaard
Sweetums is the big, hairy Muppet that's actually as sweet as his name implies (as noted in his friendship with Kermit's little nephew, Robin). Christian is a big guy with a big beard but I've always found him to be a wonderful guy and delightful to talk to. Sweetums is often used to share the stage with Muppets guest stars and Christian's collection ideology is all about sharing.
Sam Eagle :: Charles Prepolec
Sam tries to elevate Muppets performance by instilling some class to the productions and Charles Prepolec exudes class. Sam is described by Wikipedia as being "known for his ultra-patriotism and disciplined manner of being." And if you know Charles, he holds his government to high standards and has to be disciplined for all of the editing he has cranked out over the years. And both of them are great at delivering punchlines with a straight face. Yes, I know that Charles is Canadian, but just work with us on this one.
The Muppet Newsman :: Ira Matetsky
The Muppet Newsman is never seen outside of his suit and tie and will deliver information to us no matter that chaos. Ira is Mr. Professional and has presented on many topics over the years, sometimes fending off peanut gallery comments from an audience. It's pretty clear that the Newsman is intelligent and dedicated to his craft and Ira shows those qualities often as well. Ira is well-versed in so many realms and his dedication to research is second-to-none.
So, there you have it. If Muppets characters represented Sherlockians. Hope this made you smile!